Is it true that Swedish and Dutch people do not offer food to guests at their place?

 Yes, the seemingly bizarre rumor is true. For decades, a visiting child in Sweden wouldn't be offered dinner—they’d sit alone in a bedroom while the host family ate without them.

When this practice went viral as "#Swedengate" in 2022, international audiences were shocked, but the outrage missed a significant amount of cultural context.

Rather than stemming from stinginess, this practice was rooted in mid-to-late 20th-century Northern European social etiquette. Swedish culture historically placed a high value on family autonomy, independence, and precise planning. During the 1970s through the 1990s, parents often portioned everyday meals exactly for their immediate household. More importantly, offering a spontaneous meal to another family's child was viewed as overstepping boundaries. It risked ruining the child's appetite for their own family's carefully scheduled dinner, and in some contexts, it carried an unspoken implication that the visiting child's parents were unable to provide for them. Avoiding this created an environment where playdates were strictly for play, not dining.

The Netherlands has a similar historical relationship with spontaneous guests. Dutch culture is known for its strict adherence to calendars and punctuality, with families traditionally eating dinner promptly between 5:30 and 6:00 PM. Unplanned child guests were typically sent home when the meal was served, enforcing a rigid boundary between afternoon play and private family time.

Today, this practice is largely a relic of the past in both countries. Modern communication allows parents to text each other to coordinate playdates, check for allergies, and arrange dinner invitations in advance. The era of the "waiting guest" was simply a product of a time when unannounced visits were common, and maintaining a respectful distance between family schedules was considered the polite thing to do.

A typical Swedish dinner spread. Historically, families planned everyday meals with precise portions strictly for their immediate household. Photo by Per Ola Wiberg is licensed under CC BY 2.0.

Which other country's culture is most similar to the Culture of India?

 The Dutch culture! Not the regular dutch, but Surinamese-Dutch culture.

A community whose presence is unknown to most of the Indians, despite their unending love towards Indian culture!

Let’s take a look at how a random wedding looks like in Surinamese-dutch culture.

Yup, they aren’t Indians, they are Dutch!

No, their parents aren’t Indians, they are Dutch!

No, their grandparents aren’t Indians, they are Surinamese.

So, where is Suriname? It’s in South America, in the Caribbean.

No, their great grandparents are also not Indians. They are Surinamese.

Go back six generations and they are from Bihar and Uttar Pradesh, India!

Let’s have a look at the tale of Colonialism that resulted in a culture that is an amalgamation of Indian, Caribbean and Dutch cultures.

The story of a community who traveled from India to the Netherlands over generations!

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Age of Colonialism

• During the age of Colonialism, slavery was abolished in the Dutch colony of Suriname.
• In 1870 the Dutch government signed a treaty with United Kingdom to recruit contract workers from the British empire.
• Indians from the states of Bihar, Uttar Pradesh and around were transported to Suriname from 1873 onwards by the British Raj in the name of indentured labour.
• The poverty stricken labourers were given a glorified image of Suriname. It was called “Sri Ram Tapu”, meaning the island where Sri Ram lived.
• The first ship, Lalla Rookh carried Indians to Surinamese capital of Paramaribo under terrible conditions.

• A total of 35,000 Indians were shipped to work on cocoa, sugarcane and cotton plantations in Suriname.
• Indian and Caribbean culture got blended there; they grew in number.

Independence

• In 1975 Suriname gained independence from the Kingdom of Netherlands. Citizens were provided an option to migrate to the Netherlands or stay in Suriname.
• Suriname was under racial tension between Creole Surinamese and Asian Surinamese. Neighbouring Guyana had race riots.
• Indo Surinamese people sold everything to pay for the “magic ticket” to a better life and began to migrate to the Netherlands.
• Migration continued as the economic condition in Suriname turned worse under the military rule.

• They saved money and brought their family members one by one to the Netherlands.
• The Indo-Surinamese culture began to blend in with the Dutch culture.
• The community is now 160,000 in number.

Surinamese-Dutch culture

• They speak a special dialect of Bhojpuri with a Caribbean influence.
• They fluently speak Dutch and got blended with the Dutch values.
• Many of the new generation fluently speak Hindi! The feeling when a Dutch speaks better Hindi than you! It’s a weird feeling you know! I've been there!
• They celebrate Indian festivals. Here is Holi celebration in Den Haag.

• They enjoy Caribbean music and watch Bollywood movies. They really adore Shahrukh Khan!
• Some of my Surinamese dutch friends have traveled to India as well. A friend of mine wants to marry an Indian! She travels to India more than me!.
• They keep the traditions alive. My friend sent me a picture from a ceremony at her home.

• They cook and eat Indian food: roti, Dal, butter paneer etc.
• Their marriage rituals are a mix of North Indian and Caribbean style.
• They are well informed about India and it's culture! Far more than I am, which was surprising!
• I often tell them this “You know that you are more of an Indian than me right?”.

Appearance

• Judging by the looks, it’s easy to confuse a Surinamese Dutch to an Indian. The moment they start speaking English, you get to realize the European accent!
• This is Luciano Narsingh, a Dutch football player. He is of Indian Telugu and Creole descent from Suriname.

• Miss India Holland competition for Dutch women of Indian origin. Of course, it doesn't have a bikini round!

Notice the Indian attire in the beauty pageant?

So, that was the Surinamese Dutch, still embracing Indian culture, more than a century after being out of India!

The community who had a long history from India to the Netherlands via Suriname, crossing continents, under the hands of colonial masters.

The cultural root still stays after generations.

I thought that Indians should know about their community and recognise their love towards Indian culture!